Do dogs hold a grudge?

Do dogs hold a grudge? It’s a question you ask yourself every time you bring your dog to the vet or wrangle them into the bathtub for a wash. Will your dog forever remember these unforgivable betrayals? Will they hold them against you and find their own furry form of revenge when you’re least expecting it?

You can tell by our tone that the answer is pretty clearly no. Your dog doesn’t have a list of grievances, and they’re certainly not talking badly about you to the other dogs at the dog park. 

But! Just because your dog isn’t masterminding a way to get back at you doesn’t mean that they don’t remember bad experiences. And, dogs are perfectly capable of pulling from that catalogue of past catastrophes to make decisions for the future. Maybe it’s not a grudge the way we would consider it. But it is certainly grudge-adjacent! So, let’s take a closer look at how your pupper deals with unpleasant experiences, and what you can do to make sure that your pupper spends more time playing than plotting!

Do dogs hold a grudge against their beloved Owners?

In our past article, “Do Dogs Get Mad at Their Owners,” we revealed that, yes, dogs do sometimes get grouchy with us! Whether we’ve run the vacuum during their nap or cut their playtime short at the park, they get upset. Often this looks like avoiding physical contact, refusing a treat or suddenly developing “selective hearing.”

There is also extensive evidence that dogs can feel jealousy, particularly when we show attention to other dogs. This can prompt them to try to wriggle their way between us and any other furbaby who might threaten their title of our Most Favourite Good Doggy.

The question is, though, do our dogs hold it against us even after the situation has been resolved? While we can’t know exactly what our puppers are thinking, the most likely answer is no. 

Your dog may not like some of the things you do. And they may show their displeasure or ignore you to avoid an unpleasant situation. But, if you’ve built a healthy, positive relationship with your pup, chances are, they won’t be mad for long. In fact, they’ll be ready to cuddle up with you as soon as their bad mood has passed.

Do dogs hold a grudge against other people?

Obviously, a devoted doggo will continue to see their human with heart-eye emojis even after a disagreement. But, how about humans outside of their immediate family?

A 2017 study found that dogs will make negative associations towards people who are unhelpful to their Owners. Dogs are, after all, social animals and prefer people who are social too, especially towards their beloved Owners.

It’s also reasonable to assume that if your dog has had an unpleasant interaction with a person in the past, they may avoid that person in the future. 

But, can we really say these are examples of grudges? It might be more appropriate to think of them as negative associations. Your dog has learned that this particular person is unsafe, and so they decide to distance themselves out of a sense of safety and peace-keeping.

Do dogs hold a grudge against dogs they’ve fought with in the past?

Maybe your pup had a bad run-in with a dog at the dog park, and now, you’re worried that they’ll seek revenge the next time the two cross paths. Or worse, will your dog hold a grudge against the entire breed or start to give side eyes to dogs who look even remotely similar?

Unfortunately, yes. It is possible for your dog to develop aggression towards a particular dog or type of dog if they’ve had a bad experience in the past. But, just like with humans who have rubbed them the wrong way, this isn’t so much about holding a grudge as it is about association-building. Your dog has learned that that dog is unsafe and may be more defensive around them or dogs that remind them of that experience. 

The good thing is, unlike grudges, these associations aren’t set in stone. 

How can you convince your dog to give up the grudge?

When we shift our language away from “holding a grudge” to “building associations,” we bring a little bit more understanding and patience into the equation. In other words, dogs aren’t stubborn grudge-holders, and we can rely on some of the following techniques to help them change the way they see the world:

• Work on counterconditioning. In many cases, we can help our dogs let go of past grievances by offering them more pleasant experiences to replace them. This works by giving your dog positive reinforcement, in the form of treats and praise, when they come into contact with a potential trigger. Maybe you drive near the vet’s office while giving your dog plenty of tasty treats. Or, you can feed your dog their bowl of delicious all-natural kibble every time the vacuum comes out. Over time, your pup will start to associate the things that used to upset them with yummy treats and food.

• De-escalate, don’t punish. When going through the counterconditioning process, your pup will inevitably act out. After all, it will take your dog time to overcome their negative associations. In the meantime, do what you can to de-escalate their bad reactions instead of punishing them. This could mean removing them from stressful situations so that they have a chance to calm down before trying again. Yelling or other harsh tactics, on the other hand, could slow down the process by increasing your dog’s distress.  

• Give your dog plenty of positive outlets. Even as you work through your dog’s “grudges,” it’s important to give them opportunities to live out their best doggy lives! Exercise, play, and quality time with their favourite people will improve your dog’s overall emotional regulation. The result will be a happy, healthy dog less likely to react negatively in the future!

All in all, do dogs hold a grudge?

In this article, we’ve covered some of the scenarios in which our dogs develop negative associations towards others. But as the research tells us, dogs most likely don’t develop grudges in the same way that humans do.

And the good news is, even if your dog has developed some saltiness towards certain people, dogs, or the dreaded vacuum cleaner, you can help them bury the hatchet once and for all. With some understanding, patience, and consistency, you can be sure that your pupper sees their world in a more positive light!

What are your thoughts on the question, “Do dogs hold a grudge?”

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